It's 3.30am in the morning Mum, we called it our time, do you remember? the hectic days gave way to our special you and me time. Do you remember we would be shattered but we didn't care. We would talk and talk when the world was fast asleep, sometimes it may have been only 10 minutes, but only sometimes. I loved having you all to myself talking about everything and nothing. I so treasure every single second. I find it hard to sleep now, but I don't care. This is our time Mum and I can't let go. I just wish we had more of them. It feels as if you are both just on holiday, and I sit and wait day after day expecting you to return. I send you text messages, leave you voicemails. I have saved all your text's your last one being 2 days before you left me Mum. Just 2 days. I know you are with Dad, and I know you are still taking care of me but it isn't the same. Today I wanted to ring you 3 times to tell you something someone told me, but then I remembered, I can't. I feel so lonely Mum, I want to grieve I can feel it in the pit of my stomach, but if I allow it to surface then my surreal bubble will be burst, and I cannot face the reality of you not being around. I don't want to face knowing that whatever happens I won't ever feel the comfort of yours and Dad's unconditional caring and loving. I'm in a lonely lonely place Mum. Loosing you both so quickly after each other and so young doesn't happen to people like us. It's a story from someone else's life. Not mine. I have to go now, I cannot see the words for my tears, and I am frightened that if I let them come they won't ever go away.....